ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
