God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just high enough for therapy.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
