he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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