I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
