dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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