I want you more than these girls want KFC
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
