Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
