ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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