I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
