i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
