What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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