I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
