Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
