How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Rumble strips road head = magical
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
