I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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