4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
