if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
