thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
