Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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