What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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