Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
