wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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