I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
