Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
