he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
