After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
