i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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