It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
