so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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