There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
