So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
