If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
