just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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