And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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