I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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