Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
