you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
