I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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