I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
