It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
