He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
