we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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