you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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