Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize