You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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