you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
