I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
