I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
