I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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