If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
