"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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