Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
