i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
jump out the window naked night went bad
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
