i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
