but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
false alarm. still invincible.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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