Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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