have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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