were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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