3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just tell him i said nine months
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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