maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
